|Posted by Melissa on February 13, 2014 at 5:35 PM|
Smothering and Love
I found that when dealing with domestic abuse issues with women that there are other issues that are tied to them as well.
Many have the lack of love from parents or family or friends. Even killers are addictive to the need of love. People that suffer addictions as well have this problem.
The victim that has needed love as a means to survive from the abuser or anyone else does not know that they have a problem. They don’t know there is a balance to how much is too much and how to give it without smothering a person.
Dealing with issues one may not have had enough love in their life, so they become addictive to given it out or not getting it in.
People are scar from the inside with love, the process of healing many don’t know that they need healing in this area.
People can be addictive to the word I Love you that it is often so needed to fulfill a void. One doesn’t know that there is a time with one another to not repeat it so often when saying it. I spoke with these women who had so much brokenness they express that they had not had. They could not see that it could cause them to make wrong choices and that the need to express it too often was a negative not a positive. There are situations where smothering anyone can be overbearing.
One of the things of the Holy Spirit is that he is loved yes!!! But he will speak to you and teach you when to say it and when to not. Once a person knows that you already know you love them the need to say it or show it is not the emotions of it but it is the love of respecting a person’s space.
Love is love but there is an order to it. These women that I speak with where not shown that what they missed in their life, it can’t be replace with smothering someone. Abusers have the same issue lack of love due to abandonment. Their victim leaving them due to the smothering and many issues that goes with it.
Love is not meant to be addictive it has a balance. Their need to cover it up because they were smother or never received will only lead them to stay with an abuser or use what to them is love and even see it as the pain that comes with it; is this is all I know and all I got are their feelings.
How do we be effective to teach love to others if we are in need of it through healing or we can’t even see that we are to smothering others that one does not see it as an issue?
Partners and marriage some survive due to not enough love through actions or words and some cave in because of smothering. May a person fine a balance to understand what love is and how it gives without looking for the same return and no that love creates a respect for space and balance?